Blessings in the Brokenness
- Apr 10
- 17 min read
Updated: Apr 11
with author and police widow April Katherman-Redgrave
"My ultimate faith in Christ never left…faith is the only thing that has gotten me to the place I am today.” ~April
April Katherman-Redgrave’s story is one of devastating loss, deep faith, and unexpected blessings. While walking through unimaginable grief, April chose to trust God—and what followed is a testimony of His provision and blessings in the midst of heartbreak and brokenness.
I have had the honor of knowing April since our kids were young--through sports, school, and church connections. I’ve followed her journey through her blog and her book Through Hell and High Water, which I had the privilege of reading as part of her launch team. I highly recommend experiencing her full story—with a box of tissues nearby for both the heartbreaking and redemptive moments.
In this blog, I will share a glimpse into April's story, followed by reflections and life updates from a recent interview. My prayer is that her courage and faith in difficult circumstances will encourage and inspire you, igniting your own faith in whatever trials you may be facing.
Hell
June 14, 2016, started as a fairly normal summer day at home for April and her family. After breakfast together, April’s husband, San Jose (California) Police Officer Michael Katherman, hugged his kids and kissed his wife goodbye on his way out the door to work. “Little did we all know that would be the last day the boys and I had those strong arms engulf us with hugs,” she wrote.
Their boys, 10 and 8, played outside most of the day on their recently-acquired dream property in the rural city of Hollister, complete with an old, fixer-upper farmhouse and a big red barn. April, a teacher, was at home with her boys on summer break, and that day she was busy supervising some tile workers who were re-tiling the boys’ bathroom. She was also working on her packing list for an upcoming camping trip her family was taking with some friends. Their family eagerly anticipated several summer camping trips, where they would transport their dirt bikes in their trailer and create cherished memories together.
The day before was quite eventful. April completed her online master’s program in education, which she hoped would open the door from teaching in the classroom to a future in administration. April had also spent several hours that day at a hospital just over an hour away, supporting her sister as she gave birth to a baby girl. Just a couple of weeks prior in May, April and Mike had celebrated their 12th wedding anniversary and both boys’ birthdays. April felt blessed and wrote, “Sixteen pretty-perfect-to-me years passed by in the blink of an eye.”
Throughout that June day, April and Mike texted each other about progress on the tile job and details of their upcoming camping trip. For some reason, his texting went silent by the afternoon. April later learned why. While on duty in San Jose as a motorcycle officer in the Motors Unit—a job he loved—Mike was accidentally struck by another driver and killed. In less than a day, April’s whole world was turned upside down.
April married Mike, her first love and college sweetheart, soon after graduation, and they moved to San Jose, California, where Mike pursued the police academy and April began her teaching career. A fun-loving outdoorsman driving around in his Jeep, Mike first pursued April as a friend before winning her heart with his big personality. Early in their marriage, they welcomed two sons, with Mike joking that he was only capable of having boys.
According to April, at home Mike left his police work behind and focused on being a husband and father, teaching his boys about life, Jesus, and the outdoors—dirt biking, camping, and fishing. “We were his life,” she wrote. “He truly lived out the epitome of a Christ-centered life, loving his wife as Christ loved the church and putting his family first." They were well on their way to building the life they dreamed of together.
April would spend the next few months struggling to get through each day, to meet her boys’ needs and her own, and most of all, to fulfill all the obligations that came with being with a police widow. “I never had a moment to fall apart or even realize what was happening,” she wrote. She had meetings, visitors, events, and one decision after another to make. “I had to be professional, put together. The graceful wife of the fallen officer. On the inside I was absolutely dying."
April became widely-known as fallen Officer Michael J. Katherman’s widow. Along with her family and friends, she attended a large public police memorial service held at the SAP Center (a large arena) in San Jose. She was also invited to numerous local, regional, and national ceremonies, even meeting two presidents, a governor, and other public figures. “I had to keep myself together for the sake of everyone else,” she wrote.
At the arena memorial, April insisted the service honor the man, husband, and father—not just the officer—that Mike was. She wrote that she wanted it to “honor God and be a witness to the thousands who were going to be in attendance. A witness of what it truly looked like to live a Christ-centered life.”
As she stepped into this new reality, April did not understand God’s plan, but she took this perspective: “I do not know why Mike had to die that night. I will never think it was fair that he was taken way too soon from us. I can only trust God and His plan.”
High Water
As mentioned, on the day Mike had passed away, April had been overseeing the tile work in the boys’ bathroom. When she and Mike bought their dream home, the old, run-down, fixer-upper on an acre with a red barn, they knew it came with a ton of projects. Mike would work on projects while they boys played outside and sometimes patiently include them on a job. “Our dream to-do list was long, but amazing," April wrote. "Knowing it would be our forever home, we were going to…create our own little haven for our family away from it all."
Mike had already overseen completion of several major projects, but they had many more to do when he was unexpectedly killed. And now the bathroom project stopped just like time did for April and and her boys.
Word got out to the community about the state of April and the boys' farmhouse, and soon a crew of volunteers began completing renovations in her home. By the end of the summer, a number of those projects were finished. “Our dream house was coming together just the way we had planned,” April wrote.
As the months passed, winter came and brought several heavy storms. The boys had been sleeping in April’s bed with her since losing their dad. One night, on January 10, 2017, her oldest got up to go the bathroom and immediately woke his mom up saying there was water everywhere. April soon discovered that her whole house was flooded! There was about three feet of water inside the house and five feet of water surrounding the house. “It was as if our house was an island, and we were in the middle of an ocean,” April wrote.
April hauled each of her boys and then herself onto their kitchen table to stay above water. “I was alone in my home with our sons, completely stranded and helpless,” she wrote. Thankfully, April’s cell phone worked, and local firefighters she reached let her know they would eventually be heading her way with a boat from the San Jose Fire Department. Cold, wet, and with only one bag of a few dry clothes (but no shoes), April, her boys, and their dog were rescued several hours later, carried piggy-back style by firefighters through the water and out a front window into the waiting boat. Looking back at their dream home, April wrote, “I had to watch my terrified and worried children face another nightmare they didn’t deserve to live through. Why God?”
Over the next few months, after staying briefly with some close friends, April and her boys transitioned to a hotel, then an apartment, and eventually, a rental home. Their dream farm home was declared uninhabitable due to the damage and contamination from a total of five storms that flooded their home that season. Despite the state it was in, God provided a house flipper who bought the home as is. April was extremely grateful to all of her friends and the community who supported them during this difficult time, bringing them meals, helping with laundry, and donating needed items along with their time.
While time and life marched on, April, and her boys still struggled with their new reality. “Nothing felt normal to me…I was still lost, defeated, and broken. I was rebuilding a life I never wanted,” she wrote. April and the boys attended therapy, which helped them through their grief. At the encouragement of a friend, April began journaling and later blogging about her experiences and emotions and how God walked with her through them.
A New Chapter
April would visit Mike’s grave often, sitting on a blanket while grieving, praying to God, and speaking to Mike there. One day, at her lowest, she cried out to God and prayed, “Please God, send someone to love my boys like Mike did. Send someone to take care of us. Send someone he would approve of to live this new life with.” It was not too long after that she met David.
David, recently divorced, had two young children of his own, a son and daughter. He and April originally met online, after reluctantly trying an online dating site at the encouragement of their friends. Their relationship progressed cautiously from emailing to long phone conversations before an in-person meeting. By their first date, April could tell “he was the one…I knew God and Mike had sent him to me.” (For more insight into their relationship, read their story in her book, including a chapter written by David.)
With their children to consider, April wrote, “All the decisions I was making during this new experience didn’t come without fervent prayer and seeking guidance from the Lord.” As her relationship with David grew, they carefully introduced their kids, who quickly became friends. When David asked her to marry him, she said yes. “I knew there was so much more I was saying yes to…becoming a wife, yet still I was a widow. This would be one of my life’s biggest challenges and blessings…I said yes to faith—a deep faith that God was in control and leading us every step of the way as we navigated this new life together,” she wrote.
April and David very purposefully set the tone of unity at their wedding in April of 2018, by including all of their kids in special ways. April wrote, “Blending a family is not easy…Building a strong foundation in the beginning is key.” Mike was remembered in several special touches in their wedding, as well. At their wedding, David said he wanted to show April and her boys that “their Dad will always be honored and respected. He will always be part of this new blended family.” He would continue to honor this in their marriage and family life. David also said, “Only God knew what we needed…With faith, trust, and relentless prayer, we both stand here tonight in awe of how far He brought us and our family of six.”
Added Blessing
Several months after Mike passed away, April had a very vivid dream of walking with a little blond-haired toddler girl, and she knew it was her own daughter. April and David began discussing and praying about having a child together. She had multiple doctor visits and faced several obstacles, such as low odds, few eggs, difficultly in pregnancy, and her body in an early premenopausal state. Despite that, April wrote, “I knew my God was bigger than a percentage or statistic I was given…I had to remind myself that my God is stronger than me…I would keep putting my faith and trust in His plan for our family,” April wrote.
While attending another emotional police officer memorial ceremony for Mike, April was thrilled to get the call from her doctor confirming that she was pregnant. “God’s timing is something I will never understand,” April wrote. “His timing is perfect. God performed another miracle in my life…He also never fails to have another gift up His sleeve and in His plan.”.
April, David, and family were ecstatic to add a little girl to their family in December of 2019, completing their family of seven. April wrote, “God is bigger than any worry or doubt I ever have and proves to me, as He always does, that He is in control.”
Finding Faith
During her trials, April questioned her faith and felt anger towards God, yet, she wrote, “My ultimate faith in Christ never left…faith is the only thing that has gotten me to the place I am today.” She encourages others that when faith and hope feel lost, make a "choice to search deep and rediscover trust, hope, and confidence that was once there.”
David contributed a chapter in the end of the book (definitely worth reading!), sharing his thoughts on faith. He reflected that blending families was difficult but "what remained true through all of this was the faithfulness of God. He never left our sides and Jesus brought us more than we could imagine.” He added, “When I finally let go of the steering wheel and let God take control, it all started to fall into place.”
Offering Forgiveness
Another challenge during tragedy is offering forgiveness. April chose to forgive the elderly man who accidentally killed her husband with his van, as she believed this is what Mike would have wanted. At his trial, she told him so in her impact statement. “Was it easy to forgive this man? Absolutely not…But He [Jesus] loves me so much more than He loves Himself, to the point that He did the unthinkable to prove it to me. I love Mike so much that I did the unthinkable to bring honor to his legacy and glory to God’s name,” April wrote.
God’s Provision
April could see God’s provision even in the midst of the trauma of her husband’s death. “This is one area where God’s hand over our family was evident to me,” April wrote. Mike was still awake the night before when she got home--not always the case--so she was able to be with him then. He had a later shift that morning, which meant she and the boys were able to spend more time with him—sharing breakfast, hugging him, and saying goodbye. Since her sister’s baby was due, her family—normally living hours away—was nearby when tragedy struck. Regarding God's provision, April wrote, “I am always amazed at God’s timing and how He orchestrates things.”
Interview
Nearly a decade after these events took place, I sat down with April so she could share some life updates and reflections on her past experiences. Here is what she shared.
Updates
Since these life-changing events took place and April’s book was published, her family has gone through several changes. Her older son is now attending the same university his parents once did as a member of their fishing team. Her younger son, a high school senior, has committed to play basketball—just like his dad did—at the same university. Her bonus son is in high school, her bonus daughter is in middle school, and her baby girl is in elementary school.
After seven years away, April eventually returned to work as an elementary school principal at her daughter’s school. She had gotten her master’s degree—the one she completed the day before Mike’s passing—for this type of position. “God knew that was the desire of my heart, but I couldn’t have that desire right then,” April said. “I had to wait for the timing to be right.” She waited until she felt ready, and she also wanted to be completely present for her grieving boys while they were struggling the most.
Reflections
Looking back, can you see God’s hand on you through all of this?
“I think some things took time. But I do…see God’s hand in all of it—from the night that he was killed to even now, with the current state of my family,” April said. “God’s hand was in everything. I didn’t really recognize it while I was in it; God did everything so perfectly to make it as smooth as it could have been for us.”
Why did you choose to write your story?
April began her writing journey with a blog at the encouragement of her best friend, and she used it to share pieces of her story with the public. “The blog was therapeutic,” she said. She also took a writing class through a publishing company to improve her skills.
“It was my best friend who encouraged me to share everything,” April said. After her dad dreamed she wrote a book about her story, she took the prompting from both and chose to share her story to encourage others and find healing in the process. She also began journaling right after losing Mike. Though initially this felt too personal to include, she eventually shared some entries in her book at the encouragement of her writing coach.
How did you deal with two big trials back to back? How did you keep your faith?
“There were times when I doubted it all…I kept thinking ‘why us?’” April said. Her family and friends, however, helped her keep her faith. “Their faith was so strong that it kept my faith strong.” She said, “I don’t know how people go through anything like that without their faith."
Has it gotten any easier over time to trust God regarding those circumstances? How do you handle any doubts now that might rise up now?
“I have to look at what I have now…I can’t imagine my life now without [my new family],” April said. She admitted that she still deals with doubt and has to look at how far God has brought her and what came of the heartbreak. “If He can bring us through that, it really helps with my perspective on little things that I go through.”
How does the grief look different now, almost ten years later?
“I’m still obviously always going to be broken-hearted. Now my grief has shifted to where…I’m so sad that Mike’s not here to see our boys grow up,” April said. She has seen her boys live longer now without their dad than they did with him, and each new milestone, such as a graduation or college drop off, brings up some grief. “I grieve for the loss of their dad," she said.
Do you think you will be dealing with grief the rest of your life?
“I think so,” April said, adding that grief “hits you out of nowhere…in different times for different reasons.” She has wondered what it would be like if Mike was still here but has learned that it is not helpful to spend time on the what-ifs, as it can lead to spiraling downward.
Has your perspective changed of the man who accidentally killed your husband?
“Now more time has passed, I think more of what he took away from my kids. But I wouldn’t change what I did. I just knew that nothing…no sentence for him, no amount of money, no nothing, was going to bring Mike back or heal my heart,” April said. Without being asked, the remorseful man later sent April a check of his life savings, and he moved out of the country because he could not bear to be reminded of what he had done.
Was it difficult to receive help from friends?
"It was hard to accept it, but I needed it so much," April said. Over time, she learned to accept that support, grateful for women who stepped in to care for her children and handle everyday needs like meals, outings, and even laundry. She especially appreciated other moms helping her boys. “Other people loving on my boys…that meant so much to me,” April said. Her advice for those who want to help but don't know how: “Don’t ask them; just do it.”
What made returning to church difficult?
April struggled with going back to church, even with great support, because she had so many memories of Mike there. Worship was especially hard, as Mike had often helped lead worship. Sitting alone was also hard when her boys would be in the kids’ rooms. “Eventually I had to actually change churches because it was just hard,” April said. “It felt like I was known as the ‘widow.’”
How did pastors/church make it easier for you, and how can the church body support someone in times of difficulty/loss?
April said that everyone was very supportive, and that a church family should “continue to check in; when they’re not there, reach out.” It meant a lot when someone noticed she was not at church.
What is your encouragement to other widows?
“For a long time I could not see the light…it’s there. It’s just going to take a lot for it to turn on,” April said. “Lean on the help of others. Trust the Lord.” She understands that it is normal to ask why things happen and to wonder if God is truly in control or answering your prayers. She said, “When you think things are just going absolutely terrible…because they are, there is a bigger plan, and it might take a while to see it.”
Have you continued to make Mike a part of your life after marrying David?
“I would have never entertained it if he didn’t let Mike still be a part of our life,” April said. “I think it’s so important for the children of both sides…to see that. The fact that it’s been so out in the open, I think, has been so good for my boys, because we’ve never had to keep anything quiet.” She said they can talk about Mike freely at anytime. April still visits Mike’s gravesite at the cemetery, even with her newest daughter, where she shares stories about Mike with her girl.
What is your advice to other widows on finding love again?
April said that if it is important to you to keep the memories, stories, and pictures of your deceased spouse in the open, making sure those boundaries are set and that you only enter into a relationship with someone willing to do that.
Is there a right time for a new relationship?
“If my friend didn’t make me put myself out there, I don’t know that I would have,” April said. “God knew the timing; God knew that it probably needed to happen while all our kids were young.”
Have you remained involved in the police community?
April remains active in the police community as a board member of Police Wives of California, which allows her to share her story at conferences. Aware that her experience reflects a real fear for many, she encourages them to have the hard conversations with their officers about the future and to not take anything for granted.
How do you deal with the fear of losing another family member and how has that affected you?
“It’s something that I’ve had to work through, and I’m still working through,” April said.
She can be more strict with her boys’ activities, and if they are doing something potentially dangerous, her heart still sinks a little bit. Also, for a long time, April would get up early in morning to say goodbye to David, afraid something could happen to him and she would not have said goodbye. “I don’t know how I’ll get better with that…I do have a constant fear of something happening to them,” April said.
What are some of the blessings in your life now that have come from your trials?
“Not taking things for granted,” April said. “The blessing of my marriage with David…There is so much I learned from losing my husband. It makes me not sweat the small stuff. Pick and choose your battles. I cherish more with David.”
April also said that meeting people she would not have met before is a blessing, along with belonging to a community of fallen officer families, called Concerns of Police Survivors. “Those people have made a world of difference in my life and my boys’ lives and…helped us heal in a way that nobody else understands,” she said.
Do you have any plans for writing other books in the future?
“I would love that!” April said. She would enjoy writing a devotional or a book on blended families. “We’ve made ours work in such a great way…by a lot of counseling and prayer.” She thinks readers would benefit “from the two perspectives David and I brought in—from the perspective of loss and the perspective of divorce.”
Have you seen how sharing your story and journaling has helped encourage others?
“I do..it’s been helping other widows,” April said. A lot of people reach out to her when a friend becomes a widow, and she loves to talk with them. “I do think it’s helping others. And maybe that’s the whole point of all of this—to bring anyone closer to the Lord.”
Closing
I'm deeply grateful to April for sharing her story, her updates, and her reflections. I hope her faith has encouraged you and reminded you of how God provides and blesses—even in the most painful and trying circumstances. Whatever you may be walking through, hold onto your faith in God—He sees you, He hears you, and He will never leave you nor forsake you.
Links
Feel free to explore these links of April’s:
Blog: Beauty for Our Ashes
FB: @Beautyforourashes/
References
April Katherman-Redgrave. Personal interview. 16 Oct. 2025.
Katherman-Redgrave, April. Through Hell and High Water. Redemption Press, 2021
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